Found a butterfly with broken wings…
No matter how it tries to flap them, it won’t take flight.
Maybe not anymore…
Life is short. Unfortunately for a butterfly which lives for a mere 5-14 days.
Yet, it will still sow beauty at the last day of its life…
Hello, you.
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I heard you’re getting married. Just saw a random pre-wedding picture of you and her.
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You seemed happy. Her skin glowed against the last rays of light from the sunset… And she seemed happy,too…
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Several years ago, it was what we planned — to be wed… But now, you’ll be wed to someone else. Someone who’s not me.
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The sunset? It was part of it, too. You knew how I love sunsets…
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I can still remember the way you whispered in my ear that you’ll marry me under a sunset…
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It’s ironic that I am looking at a very new photograph and yet it seems like it’s all too familiar, which makes me feel nostalgic and melancholic at the same time…
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But…
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Why am I even writing this in the first place?
Give your best.
Give him your best.
Love him the best way that you can…
And if in the end things don’t work out–of course with all that you are, you’re hoping that it will– at least, you can tell yourself that you did not lack.
Just love him wholly, truthfully, and faithfully..
…without holding anything back.
They say it’s too much.
But I say, it’s love…
..a prodigal kind of love…
For if thou must love,
Thou shalt be ready to suffer.
I don’t know how it would feel,
How I would look—
I don’t know exactly,
Because it’s just here all in my head.
I don’t know when it becomes real,
How much it would differ from the books.
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I’ve seen several weddings before.
A man and a woman so deeply in love,
People I personally know, while some I do not,
Decide to spend a new chapter of their lives.
Till death do them part,
Spending the rest of their days
In each other’s embrace.
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And wedding after wedding
that I’ve been able to witness,
I cannot help but wonder,
When is mine gonna happen?
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Will there be a brave man
Who will be valiant enough
To pop the golden question to me,
“Please, will you be my wife?”
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And just thinking of it
Brings tears to my eyes.
Why, you may ask?
It’s because I’ve got two things in mind.
It’s either it would happen
or
it would not…
The former is glorious.
The latter, glorious still,
but with a different form.
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So I sit here, my pen does the talking,
My heart does the thumping,
And my mind does the thinking.
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I see butterflies flying,
Flowers gracefully scattered on the floor,
The smiling faces of people…
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I see myself in a delicate,
beautiful,
white dress…
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… But…
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Who could he be?
How does he look like?
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Or does he only exist in my dreams?
Dear Future Husband,
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I’m sorry if I haven’t been faithful to you all my life…
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And I hope that someday when we meet and I tell you of the wrong decisions and choices I’ve made, you’ll find a place in your heart to forgive me…
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Hoping and loving,
Me
Dear Future Husband,
Are you for real?…
…. or just a figment of my imagination?
I am missing you so much that it hurts… So much that it brings tears to my eyes…
…though I haven’t really met you yet…
Love,
Me
3.17.2011
I have come to believe that no other person could really decide on what should happen for your life. Though at some point you have decided over some things, and thought you made stupid choices and got unexpected or unwanted results, still the Lord God could intervene and bring forth change.
Each and every day, you have to make decisions and stand firm on those. Spending life is not done by stepping backwards. You could never go back, nor could you escape what you have gotten yourself into. All you could do now is to face it bravely and though your heart may faint at times, still you should keep pressing on. It is through mistakes that sometimes you see the right answers and realize what matters most to you.
Whenever you feel tired and spent, it is never wrong to stop for a while, cry if you may want, but later on must recollect yourself and start moving forward again. What’s wrong is the moment you have resolved to give up.
You are never assured of a stumble-free and a pain-free life; but only a place where you can find comfort, healing and acceptance whenever you fall down and get your knees bruised or your heart shattered. That place is found in the arms of Jesus who would never condemn nor forsake you—no matter what.
It’s appropriate to plan ahead but it is unwise to forget that though you make countless of plans still the purposes of the Lord will stand, and anything you have planned about is still subject to change.
“Many are the plans in a person’s heart,
but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.”
Proverbs 19:21 (New International Version, ©2011)
–Do not forget this.
Through life’s negative situations, there is still a positive one lying undiscovered. Sometimes you just have to open your eyes wide and take a secondhand look. Or you may need a friend to help you see. Do not fret. The Lord will send a friend along your way.
So stop murmuring and choose to live life to the full. You can only live once. Life is but a moment, so why not try to endure yet another day? Your tears, your hurts, your uncertainties—these will all soon pass. Trust me, it will… It will…
2.11.2010
Ok. Well, I don’t normally write a blog for the world’s celebration during the month of February. This would actually be my first time to the best of my memory.
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As I walk everywhere, in the malls or just about anywhere, signs for the “love month” are endless. Hearts stream down on walls and on the display windows of the boutiques. Teddy bears are overpriced. Flowers are in bloom. Lovers are excited. Red is everywhere!
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I love red. I love LOVE! But I am not really much of a fan when it comes to the overpriced stuff during these times. (tee-hee!)
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I am an enthusiast of love. I am its lover.
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I see Love as more than just the couples who share a good laugh over a nice, romantic dinner. It’s more than just the chocolates and flowers. It’s more than just the balloons and stuffed animals.
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For me, love can be celebrated anywhere, anytime and not just on February’s. It can be celebrated with someone (not only for boy/girl relationship), or even when I am alone. Love is intangible. Love remains wonderful even if I may have had my heart broken. (Uh-huh, that for me is love.)
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Love is much deeper than the sweet things done on Heart’s Day. The gushy stuff is merely an icing on the cake.
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The society that I grew up in taught me to love with condition. I must only love as long as I “feel” love, as long as my needs are met, and as long as it looks pretty neat on the outside. When the feelings are gone, when things turned ugly, then that must not be love anymore.
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As time rapidly went, these phlegmatic views of mine changed. I learned that to love is to deny myself. To love is to be unselfish. To love is to give more than the expected. To love is to forgive the unforgivable. To love is to accept the unacceptable. To love is to be strong and yet remain gentle. To love is life…
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Love is the reason for everyone’s existence…
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Love for me is a choice and not just an emotion. It is a covenant that no matter what happens— I will still choose to love. Even if people may do me wrong, I would forgive over and over. Even if they may have abandoned me along the line, I would still be there for them. Even if they hate me, I would love them still. I’m not saying that it’s easy to do but I only have a short life time to learn. I might as well do most out of it. I would love in that manner because that’s what my sweet Jesus did to me.
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Love is about the naked man hung on the cross who shed His precious blood as an atonement for my sins…
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The Great Lover of my soul, my Ultimate Romance, did it for someone undeserving like me! And I couldn’t think of any love that would ever surpass that. No… There wouldn’t be anyone who could.
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The moment I met Jesus, I have had the most wonderful love life I could ever imagine! I may be nuts in the eyes of other people. I don’t really care about what they say. I care more about what my Jesus says. For in the end, it’s not going to be about me and them… It’s going to be about me and Him.
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Jesus is Love… And I am a certified lover of Love.
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Have a blessed Love month, everyone!
2.3.2010
I walked quietly on one lonesome night and thoughts never stopped pouring in. I felt a void I couldn’t quite get rid of. Then I noticed tears have started to cascade down my cheeks, no way of stopping them now. I felt desolate. I felt abandoned. I felt alone…
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It’s one of those tough times that I needed a shoulder to cry on but couldn’t find any. Everybody seemed “too busy”. Everybody seemed not to care. Everybody seemed moving fast-forward and I was the only one in slow motion. And I felt like even if I pour my heart out to them, they wouldn’t really understand.
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No one would understand…
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I looked up at the expanse of the starlit sky. Every star looked wonderful, dancing gaily, as if they were inviting me to join in their waltz. Then as I am left in awe, I realized I have seen God’s fingerprints on the vastness of the sky. I saw one star twinkle remarkably and by that I knew the Lord said to me, “I Am here.”
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Another tear dropped.
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I felt a cool breeze brush against my skin, and it blew my hair away from my ear which made me hear a soft, soothing whisper. I knew it was Him. He said, “I Am here.”
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My heart pounded on my chest, I felt my blood rushing through my veins. Lub-dub-lub-dub-Lub-dub. In every coming in and out of blood through my heart, I was reminded that this life that I have is a gift. And in every beat my heart gave out, I heard the still, small Voice who said, “I Am here.”
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Someone listens. Someone understands. And even if the whole world turned its back on me, my Lord Jesus never will.
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I continued on my journey with wings on my feet. And whenever I stopped and felt afraid, I hear Him reassure that He’s there… with me…
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Walking on one lonesome night wasn’t lonely at all. I was never alone.
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Jesus is here.
ghayliethoughts 