The Unwanted Friend

Uncertainties and fears have crippled me,

Told the world to let me be,

My mind was filled with such a confusion,

Engulfed by sadness—

Drowned out the fiery passion.

`

`

In their eyes

I am the strong one,

But only I know when all my strength has gone,

Abandoned and orphaned a person such as I,

No one has ever heard my silent cries.

`

`

Half alive and scarcely breathing,

I was alone in the valley,

Yearning, searching,

Longing for something,

This is so far from being alluring.

`

`

Words and speech slur,

Dreams and visions become a blur,

No one cares—

Yes,

no one…

I know I’ve been left all alone.

`

`

It’s better this way in isolation,

An unwanted friend came who’s called “Depression”,

Made me sulk in the corners of my very heart,

But alas!

I have found solace in the dark…

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A Midnight Psalm

8.9.2009

`

I long so much for You,
And I sing of songs from the past
But they still seem new.
Your words will remain so true…
So I write again for You tonight,
Hoping to reach Your heart,
But I know even before I could
You already know what I ought to say
right from the start.
My heart overflows with love for You,
But Yours surpasses mine.
I couldn’t quite express it, Lord,
I just long to see You smile.
Smile down at me from heaven,
Right there from Your very throne,
As tears run down my cheeks,
Funny how I see Your own.
My tears are salty but Yours are sweet,
My love could die but Yours is deep.
Forever means having You,
And as forever is forever,
Lord, help me be true.
Don’t let this love be taken
By anything unworthy or anyone untrue,
Only You deserve to have my heart,
Take it and seal it—
It is Yours to comprise…
Transform and remake me
Into someone that You desire for me to be.
I will yield, I will trust,
I will obey,
And if pain is needed to make me strong,
Bring it along my way.
Valiantly, I will face the dread of night,
I know in my heart You’re my only Light.
Strengthen my knees, cover my heart
With a love undying
And will never set us apart.
The beyond doesn’t scare me anymore
Rather, it makes me fall back
in my faith in You.
Keep me under Your wings
And breathe in me Your breath.
Sustain me for the days that I may wane
I doubt not, neither do I fret.
I’ll wait—
Lovingly wait—
For You,
Cause time is of no constraint
Everlasting cannot be truly defined,
Eternity cannot be fathomed,
Perpetuity cannot be contained.
But I’m willing to wait for the day
When I’d finally comprehend their true meanings
And then I wouldn’t even need to ask.
For the last will be first
And the first will be last.
I will be strong in Your name
I’ll share the gift that I have
And as I wait for you, oh Lord,
Won’t You make haste?
And carry me home with You
Up there— in Your heaven,
Where Your eternal glory
I could finally taste.

Alive in You

8.3.2009

To bless Your heart is my earnest prayer,
To write you songs or even a letter,
To put a smile on Your lovely face—
These, my Lord, are my utmost desires.
`
Hoping to meet with You tonight,
I knelt before Your holy presence.
Worries embraced my heart with fright,
But you loosed it all and it made sense.
`
Through the wind’s gush I felt You beside me,
And peace transcended my frantic thoughts.
A certain confidence has overwhelmed me,
My rampant waters no longer fought.
`
I feel powerless and indeed too small
For the colossal picture of my life,
But God, I know You’ve seen it all,
And in Your name, I’ll be a victor.
`
You are as close as my very breath,
In my dire need, You always answer.
Even if I approach the brink of death,
Your love for me won’t ever falter.
`
Move in ways I’ve never seen before,
Take me to Your novelty of heights,
Cleanse my heart and make it pure,
To die is gain, but to live is Christ.

From Dreamland to Reality

5.7.2009

 

Is this just a dream?
Is this true, is this real?

I feel you close.
I hear your heartbeat.
I see your smile.
And I melt in your eyes.
I couldn’t hold your gaze for too long
Though I wanted to— so much.
I long for your embrace—
The security from a single touch…

I remain silent—
Wanting to speak of words I do not know…
Countless waves crash onshore.

And then I heard you whisper…
Your voice echoing in my heart,
Repeating a question, over and over,
“What if this is only a dream?”

I struggled for words, you patiently waited.

I burrowed my feet beneath the damp sand,
I opened my mouth and said,
“If this is only a dream,
I’ll enjoy every minute,
Every second that you are here.”

The cold breeze sent shivers down my spine.
But it can never put off
The flame that has warmed my heart.

I smiled and breathed deeply.

You did the same…
If this is only a dream,
Would I still want to wake up?

Unspoken

5.7.2009

My eyes filled with tears
As you looked into mine
I glanced away
, you need not know,
You need not find.

That familiar feeling resurfaced,
One that I tried to forget for so long.
One that I never wanted to feel ever again—
Until now…

We lived our lives the way we wanted it.
Met other people along the broken path,
I thought they would help us forget.
But what they did seemed too little.

The bond that kept us connected—
all these time—
was far from being broken.

It’s just that our hearts
were too proud to admit…

In the end,
It’s not a matter of who hurt
Or who loved the most…

It’s about the truth
that even without being spoken,

Only our hearts could ever understand…